Self-Care Is Not a Bubble Bath When Your Nervous System Is on Fire
Saturday, May 10, 2025
(Because if one more person tells you to “just breathe,” you might actually combust.)
Maureen Hayes
Read This Before You Light That Candle
Let me ask you something:
Have you ever sobbed in a bathtub while lavender-scented bath salts dissolved around you like the broken dreams of your last attempt at “me time”?
Have you ever rage-scrolled Pinterest looking for self-care ideas that didn’t involve yoga, skincare routines, or pretending you have 45 minutes of peace and silence?
Then this post is for you, love.
Because here’s the truth no one tells you:
- If your nervous system is in a trauma loop, a bubble bath is not going to save you.
- You cannot affirm your way out of emotional shutdown.
- Self-care isn’t soft when your body feels like a battlefield.
And today, I’m burning down the toxic positivity spa with some real, raw, regulated truth.
🧯 The Problem: Surface-Level Self-Care for Deep-Level Burnout
The internet told you:
- “Take a break.”
- “Drink water.”
- “Put your phone down.”
- “Just rest, babe.”
…as if rest is available on tap when your nervous system is screaming “CODE RED” and your inner critic is yelling, “You don’t deserve it anyway.”
What they don’t tell you is:
- You can be lying down and still in fight-or-flight.
- You can be smiling and still dissociating.
- You can look fine and still be emotionally dead inside.
🧠 Sass Meets Science: Why This Isn’t Working (And It’s Not Your Fault)
When you’re in burnout or trauma response mode, your prefrontal cortex (the part of your brain responsible for logic and calm) is basically offline - like a laptop with 67 tabs open and no charger in sight.
That’s not laziness.
That’s biology.
Your nervous system is stuck in survival mode.
So no, Becky, I can’t “just rest” - because my system thinks rest = danger.
'Self-care that ignores your nervous system isn’t care - it’s pressure in prettier packaging.'
🛑 The Self-Care Lies We’ve Been Sold
Let’s unmask some BS, shall we?
- “Self-care is about doing less.”
Actually, for many of us, doing less feels terrifying. It creates a void where guilt, shame, and identity panic come to party. - “Treat yourself.”
Retail therapy when your emotional debt is maxed out just adds another layer of regret. - “Just say no.”
When your worth has been tied to being needed, saying no feels like existential betrayal.
🔥 Real Talk Remedies: Self-Care That Actually Works When You’re Fried AF
Let’s build trauma-aware self-care - the kind that doesn’t assume your body is a Zen garden and your life is a wellness retreat.
Here’s what I recommend instead:
1️⃣ Micro-Moves, Not Mega-Routines
Forget the 15-step morning routine.
Ask: “What’s one thing I can do right now that feels 5% better?”
- Sit in silence for 3 minutes
- Lay on the floor like a sea otter
- Write one honest sentence in your journal: “I feel like ___.”
2️⃣ Track Safety, Not Productivity
Instead of asking, “What did I get done today?”
Ask: “When did I feel safe in my body today?”
That’s the new measure of success.
3️⃣ Create an Emergency Exit Ritual
When you feel yourself spiraling or shutting down, use this:
- Name 3 things you see.
- Name 2 things you feel.
- Name 1 thing you need.
It’s not revolutionary - but your nervous system doesn’t want revolutionary.
It wants rhythm, repetition, and reassurance.
4️⃣ Permission to Not Perform Wellness
If you:
- Didn’t stretch today
- Forgot your supplements
- Screamed into a pillow
- Ate cereal for dinner
…you’re still worthy.
Rest is not something you earn after “doing better.”
It’s something you reclaim because your body is sacred even when it’s scared.
🎤 Mic Drop Moment
Self-care isn’t about perfection.
It’s about pausing the performance long enough to hear what your body’s been trying to whisper all along:
- “You don’t need to earn your exhale.”
- "You don’t need to be better to rest.”
- “You’re not broken. You’re just fried AF.”
💌 Want Self-Care That Doesn’t Shame You?
Come get the Fried AF Starter Kit - a free download for emotionally exhausted women who want real relief without all the fluff.
Or better yet…
👉 Join The SHINE Revolution
🔥 For women who are done coping, done hiding, and ready to reclaim rest as their rebellion.
Because a bubble bath won’t regulate your nervous system.
But this?
This might just light your spark again. 💖
Hey, I'm Maureen
Burnout Strategist | Sass Reigniter | Founder of Reignite Your Sass
I Help Emotionally Fried Women Stop Coping, Start Resting, And Take Their Damn Life Off Pause.
🔥 Here For Nervous System Truth Bombs, Trauma-Aware Micro-Moves, And Reclaiming Your Spark Without Fixing What Was Never Broken.
✨ Free Gift:
💌 Grab The You’re Not Lazy 0 You’re Just Fried Af Guide → [Download it Here]
👑 Join the Movement
💥 Come Inside The Shine Revolution - For Women Who Are Done Surviving.
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